For some football players, the helmet is a dangerous weapon. Eager defenders strap it on tightly, determined to cause violent collisions. Used correctly, it provides a legal means of inflicting pigskin punishment on ballcarriers and would-be receivers.

 

For other players, the helmet is more of an inconvenience. It hides their faces and can muss up perfectly coiffed hair.

 

Erstwhile Giants cornerback Jason Sehorn always seemed to fall into the latter category. A good-looking California kid, he embraced the New York spotlight and delighted in the celebrity status it bestowed upon him – even as his production on the field failed to merit the attention he received off of it (a phenomenon we know today as Michael Vick Syndrome). When Sehorn was released by the Giants in 2003, ESPN.com columnist Len Pasquarelli said he had been one of New York City's “highest-profile players in the past 10 years.”

 

Now retired, it was little surprise that the telegenic Sehorn would land a co-hosting gig on Fox Sports Net’s “Pro Football Preview.” And he has chosen to follow the formulaic path of mid-level ex-players making the transition into broadcasting: Say something inane and you’ll get noticed.

 

Last week, as a guest on ESPN Radio’s “The Dan Patrick Show,” Sehorn made the outlandish declaration that New England’s Tom Brady is not one of the NFL’s top five quarterbacks. Peyton Manning, the Indy QB who routinely gags in the clutch, would be his choice if he had one game to win. Sehorn was evidently speaking for the masses when he claimed that Brady “isn’t held in as high regard” as Manning or Atlanta’s Vick. He even went so far as to say he’d take Marc Bulger, his former teammate for one season with St. Louis, over Brady.

 

Sehorn’s comments raised more than a few eyebrows – and not just the neatly tweezed ones of his fellow sun-soaked California pretty boys. Legions of bushy-browed, beer-drinking, bet-placing football fans took exception, too. Their money would always go on a proven winner. How could a scrub defensive back who failed miserably in his one shot at a championship select two guys who have never even been to the Super Bowl over the QB who has led his team to three titles in the last four years – while posting Hall of Fame numbers along the way?

 

“Hey, everyone has their picks,” Sehorn told an incredulous Patrick. And nothing says those picks have to be based on rational thought. If your brain is functioning that poorly, Jason, you might want to go back to wearing a helmet. Maybe one with a straw attached.

 

Any player, poseur or “pundit” who has a public forum can spew such baseless nonsense. In our realm, however, Cold, Hard Football Facts rule with an iron fist of pigskin authority. Those who confront us with opinions are sent to the gridiron gulag called Pigskin Detention.

 

With that in mind, we decided to systematically evaluate Sehorn on a point-counterpoint basis. We expose the empty shell of performance that was his career and then defend the DB by highlighting those accomplishments that have earned him his greatest acclaim. For those not familiar with football terminology, keep in mind that DB means defensive back, Sehorn’s former position. Coincidentally, it also stands for douche bag.

 

Sehorn was never among the top five players at his position. He was not selected to a single Pro Bowl over the course of his nine-year NFL career. He was routinely passed over in favor of fellow NFC defensive backs Deion Sanders, Darrell Green, Aeneas Williams, Eric Allen, Eric Davis, Ray Buchanan, Troy Vincent and Champ Bailey – and those were just some of the better cornerbacks in his conference.

 

Sehorn is married to actress and former model Angie Harmon.

 

Without a doubt, Sehorn was the best white cornerback of his generation. Actually, he was the only one. Being an anomaly garnered him a fair amount of attention, but many felt it was far more than what he deserved. Despite the widespread acclaim, Sehorn recorded just 19 interceptions, 435 tackles and four sacks in his nine-year career. Safety Brock Marion, a three-time Pro Bowl defensive back with the Dolphins, was one of Sehorn’s outspoken critics, calling him the most overrated player in football. Indeed, the media covered Sehorn better than he covered receivers.

 

The fetching actress Angie Harmon provides him with tight press coverage at home.

 

Sehorn got burnt for a 38-yard touchdown pass in the first quarter of Super Bowl XXXV, his one game under the bright lights that he so coveted off the field. Sehorn simply couldn’t stay with Baltimore’s Brandon Stokley, an unheralded second-year wide receiver. The bomb opened the scoring and resulted in the Giants trailing for the entire game. Sehorn and his teammates were eventually sent home losers, 34-7.

 

Sehorn gets to bump and run with seductive starlet Angie Harmon.

 

Sure, most football fans are familiar with Stokley now that he has become a productive third receiver in the high-flying Colts offense. (In 2004, he more than tripled his previous career highs with 1,077 yards and 10 touchdowns on 68 receptions.) But Stokley had just 11 regular-season catches for 184 yards in 2000 and was a virtual unknown until the Super Bowl. Of course, what would you expect from an overrated DB like Sehorn? In his Super Bowl season, he accounted for just 66 tackles and 2 INTs. Stokley’s touchdown catch against Sehorn was the longest play of the little-known receiver’s career to that point.

 

Sehorn has “known” sultry actress Angie Harmon in the Biblical sense. He has presumably fathered their two children.

 

Sehorn was highly flammable throughout that Super Bowl, the only one in which he ever played. He could have easily been torched for a couple more long touchdowns, as Ravens wideout Patrick Johnson beat him deep on two different occasions. Once, Johnson flat-out dropped the ball, while the other time, he was overthrown by quarterback Trent Dilfer. Sehorn just got lucky.

 

Come on. You know where this is going.

 

At the end of his career in 2003, the Rams tried to convert Sehorn to a safety, but the experiment failed. The fragile pretty-boy defender – he missed the entire 1998 season with an injury and played just three full seasons over his career – broke a bone in his foot during the preseason and saw limited action upon returning. He was out of the league a year later because he simply couldn’t play anymore.

 

Sehorn today gets to play the naughty perp who is brought to rough justice by former “Law & Order” star Angie Harmon.

 

Sehorn returned to ESPN Radio Wednesday, this time just on the local affiliate in Boston, where his comments have come under the most scrutiny. He tried to backpedal some – the way all DBs do – but he maintained his basic stance on Brady. Cornerbacks are supposed to have short memories, and Sehorn clearly does: He has somehow forgotten which current QB earned three rings, won two Super Bowl MVP awards, has a 9-0 record in the postseason and last year picked apart the two best defenses in football – in the two biggest games of the season, the AFC title game and the Super Bowl. In Sehorn’s addled mind, there’s no discernible difference between chokers and champions. Hey, everyone has their picks.

 

Despite his flawed analysis, Sehorn has definitely established himself among our top five cornerbacks … with hot wives. It’s just too bad that he no longer has any use for his helmet. We bet Angie is really good at polishing it.