Just in case you forgot how much some media members love Brett Favre, here are some nauseating snippets from ESPN’s Monday Night Football broadcast of the Green Bay-Seattle game. We lost count, but Favre’s name was mentioned about 2,143 times in the pregame alone. The other 89 players? About twice. Here’s some of the most obnoxious Favre excusiating:
“The footing on the field could have been a problem.” – Joe Theismann, following Favre’s first INT
“(Brett Favre) runs the huddle so well.” – Theismann
“That’s just Brett trying to make a play.” – Theismann, following Favre’s second INT
“This offensive line is not helping Brett Favre at all.” – Steve Young
“Oh, man: He came back for this?” – Chris Berman
“They’re undermanned in so many spots and Brett tries to do it all by himself.” – Young
“Every move I make I’m going to be pointing at Brett.” – Young, on potential free agents and draft picks for the Packers
“We all love Brett and everybody knows that. We wear it on our sleeves.” – Berman
“First guy up… You got it, Brett!” – Young, on the Packers signing the first big free agent that Favre wants
“It’s kind of fun watching Brett Favre playing in the snow.” – Berman
Does the media realize that they are HURTING Favre’s reputation with the endless, excuse-filled pabulum? Instead of letting him fade out with some dignity, they’re shoving Favre down our throats and turning people against Favre in the process.
Hey, he’s a future Hall of Famer, one of the all-time greats – who just does NOT have it anymore. Is there any shame in that? No. It’s the natural order of things. For once, we’d love to hear that during an NFL broadcast: "You know, guys, Brett was one of the most exciting players in football back in his prime. The team needs to look at bringing in someone else to run the offense and build for the future."
Instead, we’re told that “Brett tries to do it all by himself.” Do you think his teammates like hearing this stuff – teammates who are handicapped by an ineffective and aging QB? We doubt it.
An open letter from Brian K. Billick to his adoring fans
Since my genius decision to fire my good friend Jim Fassel, my football team has gone 5-1. Henceforth, I hereby decree that I no longer will accept the subjective, unsubstantiated and redundant title of “genius." Instead, I will only accept the label of “Beast-Master Genius.” As you may or may not know, the term “beast” is the highest compliment you can give a football-playing spastic accused of double murder, and it is I, Sir Brian K. Billick, who is the master of that beast.
In the epoch of time since I, Brian K. Billick, handed over the playcalling to Beast-Master Genius, my football team has scored 17 touchdowns. That’s because Brian K. Billick is a Beast-Master Genius. You can’t ignore the fact that four of those touchdowns were from the defensive side of the football. My offensive prowess extends beyond the realm of offense. The football team that Brian K. Billick runs has unequivocally grown, our productivity has multiplied exponentially and my personal label has morphed to an incomparable, indefensible and exiguous level.
No longer is the Baltimore Ravens football franchise deterred or distracted by exogenous forces. Henceforth, we will continue to foreclose opposing offenses and will play a brand of football that transcends any form of existent intergenerational successes.
Thank you for your time,
Brian K. Billick
P.S. Oh, and if any of you dispute my claim as Beast-Master Genius by bringing up the fact that I chose Errict Rhett over Priest Holmes six years ago, you can go eff yourself.
Pigskin Poetry
“Parcells once again looks like the genius that he is.” – Fox broadcaster Ron Pitts on the decision to start Tony Romo.
Apparently, you're a genius these days if you were the last person in America to realize the Bledsoe Era was over.
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“Everyone knows the story of Brett Favre, front and back.” – Tony Kornheiser, Monday Night Football
If you had been force-fed a certain brand of potato chips every day for 15 years, would it be an understatement to say that during the 15th year, you would know the taste of those potato chips, front and back?
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“The Rams seem poised now to make a playoff run.” – ESPN analyst Tom Jackson
A 5-6 team with the worst run defense in football has postseason written all over it. The Rams defense is dead last in yards per game (154.8) and yards per attempt (5.2). Even the Colts run defense is now better. Hell,
almost every run defense in history has been better.
Romo-Mania
Tony Romo is God. That’s the story of the hour from our media friends, and Romo will probably be the flavor of the day until it all ends in a disastrous, interception-filled loss somewhere along the way. At the risk of appearing negative, we’d like for you to focus your attention on the following statistic.
Romo against losing teams (Texans, Redskins, Cardinals, Bucs): 10 TDs, 0 INTs
Romo against quality teams (Giants, Panthers, Colts): 3 TDs, 5 INTs
By no means are we suggesting that Romo isn’t a good quarterback. He appears to be one of the pleasant surprises of the 2006 season ... and the second unknown quarterback to rescue a team hamstrung by Drew Bledsoe.
But it would be nice if the people who jump on these “Philip Rivers is one of the best quarterbacks since last season” and “I would let Tony Romo father my children” bandwagons cease the hyperbole just a tad and offer up intelligent opinions or, even better, Cold, Hard Football Facts.
Romo has played very well – surprisingly well – for a first-time starter. But the Cold, Hard Football Facts show that he’s feasted on horrible teams, and begged for scraps of gruel against winning teams.
It may be prudent to shoot these moronic bandwagon people square in the face with a potato gun – or ransack their homes and set them on fire (the people, not the homes).
OK, that might be a little harsh.
Gary Horton is a football expert. He probably knows more about football than us here at the Cold, Hard Football Facts. At least that’s the assumption after reading his bio on ESPN.com: Gary Horton spent 10 years in the NFL as a scout and another 10 years at the college level as an assistant coach and recruiter. He is the founder and most seasoned member of the Scouts Inc. staff, and his extensive experience at all levels of football make him an excellent talent evaluator.
Impressive indeed. One can see why ESPN.com tapped him to do its weekly power rankings of NFL quarterbacks. After all he is an “excellent talent evaluator."
Then you start reading his actual rankings.
His November 21 rankings threw a curveball at readers by penciling in San Diego’s Philip Rivers behind only Peyton Manning as the best QB in the league. That's a bit optimistic considering that the kid can lean on
the league’s best running back and the best tight end. (Or would that be called the tighest end?) But, hey, the Chargers are rolling and Rivers is playing well, so we won’t quibble.
This week, in the most recent November 28 rankings, Manning remains No. 1, Rivers has dropped to No. 3, and Tom Brady, Carson Palmer and the incomparable Tony Romo round out a fairly reasonable Top 5. That’s when things fall apart.
Steve McNair is No. 7, while toiling along with a 79.9 passer rating and a little over 1 TD for every interception (11 TDs, 9 INTs). He's just one spot behind Drew Brees, who recently passed for 510 yards, sixth-best in league history, has topped 300 passing yards for five straight weeks, and is considered by many to be a leading candidate for league MVP. Oh yeah, and, unlike McNair, he doesn’t play with the league’s No. 3 scoring defense. The Saints sit atop the NFC South at 7-4 after a disastrous 2005 season, thanks in large part to Brees. Does anyone think they’d be in the same position with Steve McNair under center?
The most egregious ranking is Marc Bulger at No. 11. Bulger has been a bright spot for the Rams, limiting turnovers without compromising his pinpoint accuracy. Despite playing behind a battered ofensive line, Bulger has quietly put together a solid season, with a 92.7 passer rating, 14 TDs to just 4 INTs and 2,858 yards passing, good for fifth in the league. His 4 INTs are the fewest among starting quarterbacks. And, few people know this, but
he currently stands at No. 5 on the all-time passer-rating list.
But he’s just the 11th-best QB in the NFL today, according to Horton. It could have been worse. Last week, Bulger was No. 17. Which is kind of part of the problem with “quarterback power rankings.” They change like the weekly wind. Was Philip Rivers really a better quarterback than Tom Brady last week, but now he’s two spots behind him this week?
The worst part, though, is that you'll find that Horton is well versed in ESPN’s “How to Make Excuses for Brett Favre Handbook.” Following Favre's classic 3-INT performance in a nationally televised loss to Seattle, Horton's rankings have Favre at No. 8 (yes, eight), and he writes:
"(Favre) saves his best for MNF and at times we saw it in a snowy loss at Seattle … But note, most of his bad throws were when he was battling to get back in the game. He can still play!”
Add that to the Brett Favre Excuse-Making Hall of Fame.
